"You see, I am just your average Canadian college student, living in the dorms, going to frat parties, salting my peanuts. But I am also quite different. This is largely due to the fact that I have a notorious habit of talking in my sleep. I don't really like it, as I've lost many friends and a few parents because of it.

But anyway, I love writing, and I love reading, and I love reading writing. Especially Dr. Suess. He was a genius.

I have a big crush on my economics teacher, and boy, could I see myself with her! I mean, you should see this woman's bodily dimensions! She's an angel! Unfortunately, she keeps turning down my proposals for dates...

I would write more, but, as I said, I'm just like any other college student, so there's not much more that would interest you."